How to achieve your goals part one

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How to achieve your goals part one…

What do you REALLY want?

We all have those 'should do' goals that we know make sense, but we don't really WANT to achieve them.

We have no emotional attachment or desire to achieve them, so they are an impossible goal. A pipe dream.

You may know the type of goals that I am talking about?

I have one that is "I must go to the gym more". But why should I go to the gym? I HATE the gym and don't like the environment of exercising in a gym. I know that exercise is good for me and as my partner is a complete gym freak, I always feel that I SHOULD go to the gym, but it was always a struggle, even when I was a regular gym goer, I hated it.

Before I knew about the difference between a SHOULD goal and a WANT goal, I always thought I hated the gym because I was lazy. But I am always on the go and I actually enjoy walking and even exercising at home to a DVD, it is the gym I don't like.

So this goal that I had been setting myself for years, was an impossible goal. Life is far too short to stick to goals that we don't really WANT to achieve, so after a short time, we give up or we find excuses. In my case "I'm too busy to go this week" or "I've injured my leg, so I will go tomorrow". Then the goal starts to take a backseat to your other commitments and eventually it is put aside altogether. But the true goal (exercising and getting fit) also gets put aside and before you know it, you are a few months down the line and no exercise has been done at all.

As you can see from this example, this is why it is vitally important to find your true goal. You must find the WANT. The desire to achieve a goal is the key to actually achieving it.

Otherwise, it will always remain a SHOULD goal and it will be on your New Years Resolution list every year!

Don't let that happen to you. New Years Resolutions are a complete waste of time and energy.

To find your true goal, I have a basic exercise that you can do. It can take a couple of minutes or a couple of hours, it's up to you how deep you go.

If you are busy this week, just do step 1 but I strongly recommend that you aim to do step 2 as soon as you can and spend a couple of hours at this stage as it really is worth the time and effort to find out what you want.

Step 1; Finding your true goals

There are 2 stages to this exercise. One of them I have shared with you before in a different context, is a simple visualisation exercise. It should only take a couple of minutes.

The aim is to think about what you want, or what you think you want, and to visualise your life after you have achieved that goal. This way, you get to see the results of the goal and you should 'see' whether it feels good to you (or if it feels weird or not worth the effort that you would have to put in to achieve the goal, this is not a priority goal).

Because sometimes, the results of a goal do not excite us enough to motivate us to make it happen.

For example, in the case that I shared earlier about me hating the gym, I would love to have a svelte toned body, but not enough to drag myself to the gym 3 or 4 times a week! However, if I could achieve that same result a different way (exercising at home for example) I may find that the visualisation exercise spurs me on and motivates me to exercise at home 3 or 4 times a week.

So the key with this exercise is to visualise the results and ask your inner self what things you need to do to achieve it.

Realistically; are you motivated enough to make the effort? Because if you would rather watch TV or chat on Facebook, this goal is NOT exciting you enough to be your real goal.

Bin it, and start again with a new goal or idea.

Step 2; going deeper.

Once you have an idea of your true goals, the things that really mean something to you, I want you get a journal or a large piece of paper and imagine that it is 3 years from now.

Date the paper 3 years from TODAY.

You will be writing a letter of all of your achievements over the past 3 years and everything that you are grateful for. You are writing the letter to a supportive friend or relative, one that will not judge you or make light of your goals or achievements. If you cannot think of anybody like that, address it to me, I would love to hear all about what you have achieved! You're obviously not going to send the letter, so it really makes no difference other than you feeling like you can really open up and be honest about your achievements.

Write the letter as if you haven't spoken to your friend for some months and you are letting them know all of the good things that are happening in your life. Business, finances, personal life/love life, family and home, spiritual, fun, health and fitness.

List everything that you want your life to look like in three years time (remember step 1 though, be realistic about what you REALLY want). Dream big, but be true to yourself.

Have fun with this and be sure to include lots of "I am really grateful for…" and "I am so exited to have achieved…." Keep the letter very positive.

I really enjoy doing this exercise and once the words start flowing it is surprising what results you get sometimes. Automatic writing can be different to writing something that you have thought about previously, because it seems to come deep from your subconscious.

Remember if you are capable of dreaming it, you are capable of achieving it.

Step 3 – going forward

This 'letter' is what you are aiming to achieve this year. These are your true goals.

If some of the goals take up to 3 years, then so be it. But you should keep this letter in a safe place and read it on a regular basis.

As you read it, take time to really feel grateful for the things that you have achieved and that you have in your life. Close your eyes for a moment and visualise each thing.

Do this on a regular basis.

Try not to worry too much about HOW you will achieve all of the things you wrote in the letter, for now, just absorb yourself in being grateful for achieving them (Remember, we're 3 years ahead of now!). We will deal with the 'how' later.

Good luck and if you want any help or advice, please do not hesitate to email me.

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Feel free to leave a comment (below), I would love to hear your thoughts on this topics or any questions you may have. But please, NO SPAM and use your real name!